An Invitation: BYOB (Bring Your Own Blanket)
Last night I was up with my kids for 2 ½ hours. And this wasn’t Momma wrap you in a blanket and hold you in her arms cause you need comfort and love kind of up all night. It was battle of wills, no you will NOT sleep in my bed like you have for the past 8 weeks and I don’t care if you’re scared up all night. Not my finest mid-night hours. And I wake up in the morning hating all over myself, worried about them and the inevitable mid-20s-therapy-inducing damage I have done to their poor child souls and they roll out of bed and are like “Good morning Mommy! How did you sleep? Can I eat Halloween candy for breakfast?”
And thus begins my day.
A day that, frankly, is terrifying in itself. The day is literally filled with to do’s that I either have no idea how to do or that I have no interest in actually doing. And when I look at all the things that SHOULD get done today, I know that I would probably need a good week to realistically accomplish them all. And that’s when I am at the TOP of my game. And guess what... I am nowhere NEAR the top of my game.
This mothering/working/managing life thing is a god-damned roller coaster of emotions. And we all go along and think that everyone else is doing it way better than we are. They are not yelling at their kids at 3:30 in the morning. They are tackling those opportunities that scare the shit out of them. They are making it to the gym, or yoga class, or meditating. They are handling it.
And guys, I AM A LIFE COACH! I should be able to balance it all and manifest my own destiny and create a life filled with sunshine and rainbows and all that. Right?
No. I mean, yes. Like...eventually, maybe.
But right now, I feel the sometimes unbearable pressures of what it means to be a mom. To be creating something in my career from scratch. The brutality of my own inner critic echoing the messages of society’s expectations of women, and mothers, and working parents. The emotional and logistical overwhelm of all that I have before me. The anxiety of the holidays looming. The financial stress. The lack of sleep.
And how the hell am I going to live up to all that I envision for myself when I feel beat down before I even get up in the morning?
Does any of this sound familiar?
I thought so.
So how do we move forward?
In the past, I would have blocked all this out, put my head down and barreled through. Determination. Powering through. Just push to the other side. Get it done.
And I gotta admit, that’s really tempting. Exhausting maybe, but in a way…it also feels like the safe choice. Because then I get to shut down. Shut down from the hurt that I am feeling. The fear. The anxiety. It’s just about to do lists, checking them off, and moving on to the next thing. Getting it done.
But while I might not be gallivanting around with my own personal lifetime supply of sunshine and rainbows, here’s what I do know as a coach. That whole shutting down and pushing through and getting it done thing…it only works for so long. And as much as we want to believe that compartmentalizing our emotional life is a healthy tactic, there’s a reason we “feel all the feels” when we start to feeling. Because when you shut down one area, you’re shutting down everywhere else too. So in order to have the joy and laughs fully and completely, we also need to acknowledge the sad, the angry, the scared.
Last night, I chose the power struggle with my kids. I chose pushing through to the other side, willing them to get over their fear and fall asleep, waiting until their eyes drooped once more and their breath slowed and deepened so I could tiptoe out and back into my own bed. I did this three separate times. I finally took one kid back to bed with me, exhausted. I got it done though, I guess.
But what if I had wrapped them up in a blanket and held them in my arms and made them feel all warm and safe?
And what if I did that for me? What if you did that for you?
Maybe we would all get some much needed reprieve. Some compassion. A moment to rest and nourish ourselves.
Oh my god, did you feel that? That softening of your heart, that hunger for a little love, and then that jolt of “no, no, no, no, no, I can’t.” The excuses for why you can’t give in to your needs, for fear of all that might come flooding out? Yeah, I did too.
It’s time to start talking about why we are not taking care of ourselves.
We know we need it. We commit to it in one way or another. And then it never happens.
JOIN ME FOR A FREE WORKSHOP ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH SELF-CARE.
- Uncover the real reason why you’re not following through on your promises to yourself.
- Learn the three words that will guide you in building a sustainable self-care practice.
- Walk away with an achievable plan, and the confidence knowing you are going to make it happen.
Start getting it done...Without powering through.
Register below...Consider this an early, completely free, and much deserved holiday gift to yourself.
Join other awesome people for a 90-minute group workshop - and pick your preferred format!
Online webinar November 9 from 8-9:30 pm or in person in Brooklyn on November 17 8-9:30 pm.